Sexual assault is a thing. Even when we try to not make it a thing, try to make it disappear, try to pretend it doesn't exist. And it happens to more people than we think. And to all genders.

In all cases we have a choice about how we want to show up in the world. In most cases a little connection with, and genuine interest in, a stranger is all it takes to make things joyful again.

For a long time I thought there must be an elusive thing I was missing. Like, some relationship gene that didn't get passed down to me. I looked at it like this failure in my life, and all the while, I was not actually taking active measures to date.

There's one thing I know for sure. And that is that fearing the consequences of my own ignorance is my biggest obstacle to my own growth, and to the growth of the people I connect with. 

What if we were responsible with and took ownership of this potent thing that exists in each of us and that manifests itself as the truest symbol of human connection there is (both the actual act of sex itself, and truth)?

In personal growth, we often talk about "gripping" - onto emotions, circumstances, relationships.

It's a sort of energetic control mechanism.

For some, not knowing feels dangerous. It effects our livelihood, our worth, and our value.

For others it means we're inferior, out of control, not good enough.

When you realize you don't exist and that the only thing keeping you from perpetually tasting the sweet nectar of non-existence is your identity, you'll do anything to rid yourself of it.

Sex is an embodied expression of desire, power, vulnerability, versatility, reception, connection, and transformation.

It's no wonder so many of us use it for healing.

Very rarely do you hear a story of "so I was surfing my Facebook timeline comparing myself to my friends and what followed was a total awakening."

You can't do great things by doing nothing.

Our land is burning. Our streets are flooding. Our political infrastructure is rotting at the roots. Unlike the course of Irma, there is no predicting what this will lead to, or how long it will last.

How will you choose to live?

We think we don't have what we want because we are incapable.

"I'm not courageous enough." "I'm not smart enough." "I'm not wealthy enough." What we want feels too big, too far-fetched, too impossible.

The path is not linear, it's spiral. We go to the depths of our capability to heal on a thing, and then we move on, and eventually, we circle back around and go deeper, we feel more, we integrate more. Evidence of our growth is how quickly we bounce back the subsequent times.

Self worth means you have the capacity for self recognition. It means you see yourself for who you actually are: brilliant and divine. It means you put value on how you show up in the world. On your time. On your attention. On what you have to offer the world as a unique and special entity that could only possibly ever come from you.

If you've set your life up with this idea that you can life-hack your way out of putting yourself out there, you aren't doing the work; you're explicitly avoiding it.

We have all heard about personal responsibility, but what does it mean, exactly? How do we apply it to our lives without imposing self-blame? 

For every woman that we label self-serving and unworthy of connection because she's in her full expression of her desire, we further embed that story about ourself.

No one can make you feel small, defeated, or diminish you or your desire. Only you can do that to you.

Good sex has nothing to do with skill. It has to do with clarity, willingness, communication, presence, and attention.

True healing does not involve changing the event, avoiding the perpetrator (though this could still be a necessary, albeit unrelated, step), or understanding what happened in the past better.

It involves becoming conscious of the belief about oneself that was birthed when the event happened, observing where it is still active in the present moment, and dismantling that belief.