Are you unknowingly attached to staying stuck?

Image courtesy of Matt Noble on Unsplash.

Almost everywhere I go, I meet people who tell me they are really interested in growing. They consider themselves ambitious and enjoy doing new things. They want to transform their lives and have a natural hunger to do so.

Imagine my surprise when I cross paths with people I've met again years later and their lives are more or less the same. I have admittedly thought to myself at times "but wait, didn't you tell me last time we talked x years ago that you were really wanting to transform your life? What happened?"

Instead of accuse these people of lying though, I decided to get curious.

Why is it that we say we want to change, set goals, new year's resolutions, and read books about creating healthy habits but then don't follow through over the long term?

There are a few answers to this question.

The first is lack of clarity. Very rarely are we called to sit down and actually get clear about what it is that we want. More on this one below.

The second is lack of intention. We never consider WHY we want the things we say we do, and so there's no emotional staying powering to keep the momentum going when things get a little boring or hard. If we don't believe in what we want, the follow through is next to impossible.

The third is that we're overly focused on having and not focused enough on the states of being that will result in that having. We have our attention outside of ourselves, instead of inside.

We often approach lifestyles changes of all kinds in this order:

"If I HAVE the thing I say I want, I will DO things differently, and then I will BE happy."

But that order is backwards. It's not HAVE, DO, BE, it's BE, DO, HAVE.

My clients are often astonished when I break this down for them on our 1:1 calls, by tricking them into doing something really simple:

I ask them to create the physical sensation of being contracted, shut down, resentful, and closed off, and right on cue, they do it. No matter where my clients are on the planet I can feel them being totally closed off in my own body.

Then I ask them to create the physical sensation of being open, expansive, warm-hearted, and joyful.

And guess what? They can do that too. Almost immediately. I can feel it so profoundly that I often end up getting teared up when they show me how easy it is for them to just open their hearts.

Then I tell them: YOU have the on-off switch. You get to decide how you BE. No one else can do that to you. And when you BE who you want to BE, you will DO things differently, and then you will HAVE the life you say you want.

The trick is that we need to remember this during the times where we don't have our coaches right in front of us (ie: the other 6 days a week)!

One of the simplest ways to start making a change in your life is to not just get clear about what you want to have, but more importantly, how you want to feel. For most of us, we know exactly how we want to feel even if we're not so sure about anything else. You can really distill it down to this question: do you want to feel open, or closed? When we put our attention on how we want to feel (and let's assume we all want to feel open), we inevitably create endless opportunities to hone that craft. Something as simple as resolving to always be open can keep you busy and growing exponentially for lifetimes.

THEN, we want to get clarity about WHY we want to feel that way. Again, we need the emotional juice here to keep us going when we're in the face of conflict, or when we're compelled to go down the respective rabbit holes of comparison, judgment, and blame. We need to have good cause to remember WHY it's important to us to hit the pause buttons in those moments, or to do a Do-Over to recreate experiences immediately in more healthy ways.

There was a time in my life where I had calendar notifications on my phone multiple times a day to remind me of the things I was working on with my own coach. I put post-it notes up around my house, and had affirmations written out all over the place, sometimes even on my body. Still today, I regularly use my cell phone wallpaper as a little reminder of my own sadhanas (reply to me if you want to know what it currently looks like - I'll be happy to send you the PDF file so you can use it, too). And I also have my framed vision board hanging on the wall right next to my front door.

So why am I telling you all this?

Well, getting clarity of vision for who you want to be in the world is something we all talk about but very few people follow through with action. If you want to manifest anything in your life, you need to take action. And I'm hosting an event on Monday that will give you the opportunity to do just that.

My annual Vision Board Gathering has been such a hit here locally in Copenhagen that I'm delighted to use COVID as an excuse to expand the audience dramatically. It's the perfect place to get incredibly clear about how you want to feel, what you want to create in your life, and why it matters. We will then use the power of visualization to put those goals into imagery and words, and with the magic of a trusty glue-stick, paste them down onto paper so you can hang your vision somewhere you can see it every day, TO REMIND YOU OF THE GREATNESS YOU ARE UNFOLDING IN YOURSELF.

It's sort of like having a coach in your pocket 24/7. ;)

During this two hour virtual event, which takes place at 7pm CET this Monday (December 14th), you'll have the opportunity to be coached by me on any places where realizing your biggest goals still feels foggy, unclear, or where you feel really stuck.

This event will set you up beautifully for the Winter Solstice the following week which is considered to be one of the most potent astrological events of the year (called The Great Conjunction), and a time where your potency of intention will have incredible staying power for the coming years. I even know people who will be celebrating "New Year's Eve" on December 21st this year!

T'is the season right now to process and let go of everything that is holding you back so that you can forge into the new year with a clean slate, ready to move in fierce grace toward self-realization. You came onto this planet to offer something truly unique, and the world (and the universe!) needs you to realize it, pronto.

Let's get started, shall we?

You can register here.
A small note that when you click SIGN UP NOW and fill out the form, you'll then need to "check out" in order to pay the 10€ fee and finalize your registration.

I hope to see you there. If you have any questions about the event, or would like to know more about working with me privately or in one of my group programs, you're welcome to inquire here.