"You're emotionally weak."

Several years ago, while traveling in Istanbul, and against my better judgment, I hired a tour guide.

As a seasoned world traveler, it was against my religion to hire tour guides if I could help it. I liked to go to a place and feel its history, its stories, its vibration, without getting stuffed with information that made it hard for me to actually be present where I was.

But I had met a fellow seasoned traveler while roaming down Istiklal Caddesi a few days before who insisted that I should make an exception for my impending visit to Hagia Sophia, a church-cum-mosque filled with rich — and dense — history that wasn't to be missed. And so I decided to make an exception to my rule, and hired a Kurd named Kadir for the adventure.

After our tour (which was wonderful), Kadir asked me out on a date. I was much obliged, and so I let him walk me around town and show me things only locals would know about.

He asked me about my life, which at the time was consumed by two things: international travel, and olympic weightlifting. If I wasn't doing one, I was definitely doing the other. Sometimes, like in the case of my trip to South America the year before, I did both at the same time (lifting weights at high altitude in the Andes mountains is not as easy as it sounds!).

Kadir looked at me a bit perplexed. He wanted to know why I would do something like olympic weightlifting. Isn't that a sport for men?

Offended, I told him I loved the feeling of being physically strong. I insisted that physical strength was the new skinny.

To which he replied that the only reason I wanted to be physically strong was because I was emotionally weak.

This was a man who hardly knew me, and although I accused him of being wrong in the moment, my reaction revealed the truth: he was totally right. And I was totally nailed.

I had spent my life protecting a depth of emotional sensitivity and perceptivity I didn't know what to do with. I had zero tools at the time to be in the world as a sensitive being, and so instead, I was in the world in my own home-made energetic fortress, over-achieving and outrunning anyone who ever dared get close to me.

And I lifted heavy weight, too. And Kadir saw right through me.

I asked myself: If this random tour guide who just met me this morning can see this, I wonder how many other people know? I was humiliated at the prospect of everyone but myself being privy to my true vulnerable colors. I felt totally exposed, and also pretty helpless about what to do about it.

I got home and immediately made it my mission to prove Kadir wrong.

I wanted to not just be emotionally strong, I wanted to feel emotionally agile and resilient. I wanted to live in the world open, receptive, and unprotected. I wanted to trust myself, feel safe in my body and my sensuality, and feel uninhibited in sharing the bottomless depth of who I was with the world.

And I had no idea where to start. Back then you couldn't just google the answers to such complex life circumstances!

The good news about not knowing where to start is that you can start pretty much anywhere. And so in sometimes broad, sometimes narrow strokes, I began to strip away the layers of my fortress.

As you can imagine, along my journey I learned some things. A lot of them. I also unlearned even more.

And one could say that that fateful evening on Galata Bridge where Kadir the Kurdish Tour Guide told me I was emotionally weak changed the course of my life so completely that I hardly even recognize that young woman anymore.

So totally that now I live in the world as an Emotional Intelligence Expert!

How's that for a 180?

Ever since I decided to become a coach, I've devoted my life to serving the men and women who were like me. Who wanted to feel liberated in themselves and who had no idea what to google to get started. I've made it a point to be visible, accessible, and to share in every way I knew how, so that if someone was looking for what I had to offer, they'd recognize it when they saw it. I've shared a massive amount of transformational content, stories, and resources on social media and my blog, for free, for the past five years, with a deep desire to make an impact.

And in the past year, I've taken a step back from social media while I've focused my energy more toward my clients. I've had a huge desire to share the wealth of wisdom I've gotten access to in a conscious way such that it's not just a transfer of knowledge to those receiving it, but so that it evokes that same self-realization I had, in others.

I've been listening pretty deeply this past year as many in my network have fumbled through lockdowns and riots and isolation and emotional breakdowns. Admittedly, I had a wonderful year, and it's quite clear to me why: because I've spent years integrating the EQ tools most people are missing into every aspect of my life. And in that vein I've created something that I feel is long overdue:

A gym membership for your Emotional Intelligence. Totally virtual and lockdown-proof.

Introducing: The HeartCore Collective

This monthly membership chock-full of theme-based transmissions like intimacy and relationship dynamics, belief systems and mindset, and empathy and compassion, self-study journal prompts, and additional resources to lock it all in, plus a live monthly group coaching call designed uniquely for your integration, officially launches on February 1st. And it's only 49€ a month.

Just like a regular gym membership, the first step toward making a change to your life is signing up. The second step is walking through the door and doing your first workout. You can't get big biceps without doing the bicep curls.

So what are you waiting for? I can't wait to see you in there.