You want what you have.

You don’t want what I have.

You want access to what you have.

The difference between these two frames of mind is really important.

When you are guided by an idea that you want something someone else has, without attention to this subtle detail and the enormous nuance which exists here, you are way more susceptible to making decisions which are ultimately out of alignment for you. It’s a pipe dream based on half-baked ideas and “shoulds.” This is especially true of the world of physical manifestations and material aspects of living well.

When you orient toward your growth from a knowing that you already have everything you need, you’re more inclined to pick friends, partners, careers, and coaches and spiritual teachers, based on their skillful ability to reflect who YOU are back to you and encouraging you to cease blocking your essence, rather than obstructing your path and sight by imposing their ideas of who you should be onto you (something which is pervasive in all areas of human relating).

It’s so easy to lack sobriety here and ultimately get carried away by collective group think and idealism, letting that inform some of the most important decisions of our lives, leading us further and further astray.

I can assure you that you don’t want my life. I live in a very specific way which is exactly right for me and which I’ve learned how to create by doing a ton of experiential research and stripping away countless layers of learned behavior. My life as it has physically manifested would likely not be supportive for someone else. I’m on a path of refinement and emptying out which requires of me increasing levels of nuance, exactness, precision, and discipline, and decreasing levels of concreteness and identity. I thrive in neutrality because I am best used and grow most efficiently when I’m an open vessel. I am a woman in her late 30s who doesn’t want children nor marriage. I thrive when I am unbound totally.

If you happen to feel drawn to me I can assure you it’s not because of these facts about me even if you happen to want the same for yourself.

You’re drawn to me because you’re attracted to authentic essential expression and a deep knowing of self, something I embody and which has resulted in me discovering what is perfectly in tune for me in my life. It resonates inside of you as a subtle recognition of your own core being and calls to you as something which is available and ready to be realized and actualized in you, too. Although we are all the same at our core in the sense that we all have an essential nature which lives in us, and although all of our essential natures are rooted in the many facets of total divine love, how it materializes in the physical realm is bound to be vastly different.

When I work with others, my main occupation is to show them who they are so that they can see it and then support them in stripping away layer after layer so that they can receive it. I am a mirror. I can be a mirror for others because of my broad ranging mutability and because I prioritize being a hallow bone in every aspect of my personal life. I have become more and more this way through an unrelenting internal process of full body identification followed by total disidentification. Being a mirror and a messenger of the soul’s silent calling is why I am here. And I don’t just do this in service to others. I do it first with myself. That is the physical manifestation of my essential nature and that is why I do the work that I do.

I share all of this to support you in your journey toward discernment. Be aware of why you think you want what you want. Take inventory of your unquestioned assumptions about your life. Get clear about how you want to feel and let that guide you. If you make decisions from superiority or inferiority or comparison or longing, put the car of your life in reverse and go back inward until your choices come from clarity and neutrality.

Listen to yourself and trust that you are the only one who holds the key to your soul.

Pick guides and partner and friends and vocations which will shine a light on the door.