Judging prevents you from hearing your intuition and discernment.

Did you know that judging and vigilance are two of the most normalized and prevalent forms of nervous system activation (reactivity) in the western world?

Judgment is like an "offensive" preemptive expression of self-preservation ("I'm going to protect myself from this person by thinking critically of them, because I feel safe when I feel superior."). Vigilance is also "offensive" and I like to call it "Paranoia Light;" it functions to ensure we are always prepared in case something (anything!) goes wrong.

Both are incredibly taxing on the nervous system.

Both prevent us from hearing our intuition and discernment.

Both predispose us to a sort of anxious/avoidant hooky attachment style in our relationships when activated which keep us ultimately bound to our current circumstances and makes sustained growth feel elusive.

How this mechanism stays intact:

We conflate judgment and vigilance with "sight" and "perceptivity" and put emphasis on "what happened," relaying the play-by-play of an event to anyone who will listen, or colluding about our evaluations of others.

When this is going on inside of us, we experience of ourselves that we just CARE a LOT. Our resentment gets activated when other people don't care in these same ways. We get totally wrapped up in the details. We get accolades for paying such close attention and we never stop to consider whether it's a sign of dysfunction because this way of being is identity confirming and broadly socially acceptable.

Did you know that those who have needed to pay attention as a point of survival their whole lives begin to thrive when they STOP paying attention to what's going on "out there" all the time?

In my signature Reactivity Blueprint process, this is the level of nuance we dive into, so that you can discover what might be true for you even if it's not true for anyone else, based on your background, your family constellation, your relationship dynamics, and your belief systems. In addition to identifying the cues that tell you when you're snagged, we'll also build an individual protocol that you'll always have with you so you know what to do when these tricky and quite hidden reactive styles show up.

The key is to catch these ones early, so that you don't have to do all the unraveling and damage control required when you get to the big over-reactions, burn outs, and breakdowns.

Discover your unique Reactivity Blueprint in UNBOUND, a three month virtual group coaching program designed for your liberation.

Calls are every other Thursday beginning March 10th, from 16:30-18:00 CET (Copenhagen time).

Enrollment is open until 4pm CET next Thursday.