You can't use masterful communication to control outcomes.
If I’ve learned one thing about communication mastery it’s that it can never, ever, be used to control.
There is no collection of words or even pure sentiments paired with words that can prevent destiny. Delay it, sure, but not prevent.
Yes I said it. Destiny.
Listen folks, the deeper I go on my path the more clear it is to me that free will really only has to do with how we choose to respond to reality. That’s it. It has nothing to do with being able to control outcomes.
You can absolutely delay outcomes and slow things down by controlling your language, lying, withholding the truth, obscuring, failing to be explicit and forthcoming, judging instead of taking personal responsibility, believing you are a victim of your circumstances, etc…
And newsflash: you can also delay outcomes by thinking communication mastery will eventually resolve confusion in relationships with people who cling to it and only feel safe when everything remains obscure.
But eventually it will catch up with you (maybe not in this lifetime, but sometime!).
And so I wonder: what’s the point? Why are we fighting it? Why not just get straight to the point and save ourselves the pain and suffering?
What getting straight to the point does — by being honest, forthcoming, timely, and frankly, totally surrendered to reality — is accelerate destiny.
It's like ripping the bandaid off.
I have no way of proving what I’m about to say, but so far as I experience it, getting straight to the point works out karma at lightning speed. It puts the awareness of your destiny in the palms of your hands faster.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not here to waste time. It’s of the essence, as the saying goes.
And guess what? Sometimes I catch myself using my own teachings and emotional literacy to attempt to control outcomes I straight up know are coming (hello, psychic abilities ). I tell myself that maybe if I point this out to this person or name the thing I'm sensing with boat loads of compassion it’ll spare both of us pain and we can continue carrying on together with significantly less drama and confusion.
Amongst the most humbling learnings I’ve had in my lifetime (and there have been a few instances!) is the realization that I cannot do anything to “save” another person from their own karma.
Only they can do that.
So what is communication mastery good for?
Listening — deeply to ourselves first and foremost — so that your communication is in integrity (what you say, think, and feel are all in alignment). This listening allows you to know yourself totally and also to recognize others who know or are on the path to knowing themselves totally, too.
It can bring more intimacy (aka: honesty) and trust between two willing people
Offering informed consent about who you are and how you roll to other people so that you both can get straight to the point.
Recognize more quickly when someone is dumping fog and confusion into your connection so you can practice healthy boundaries and not invest time in relationships with people who are not interested in getting straight to the point.
That’s it. It may sound kind of vanilla as far as personal development and spiritual tools go what with all the fancy marketing you see on the internet these days but if you aren’t interested in wasting time in this lifetime, it’s the way to go.