Self-sufficiency isn't always a good thing.

  Photo by  Verne Ho  on  Unsplash

Photo by Verne Ho on Unsplash

At times it’s important to be autonomous, independent, and self-sufficient. But like all things, it exists on a spectrum.

Society has celebrated self-sufficiency for years. The more independent we are, the greater our anticipated successes. Particularly in the mindsets of those of us over about 30 years old.

But when self-sufficient habits begin to cause resentment, negative thoughts like “I have to do it myself” or stress and exhaustion, chances are likely that your growing edge is not to be MORE self-sufficient, but rather, to learn how to ask for help.

Every single high performing female client I work with is highly independent. In fact, it’s precisely because of this that they have sought out my coaching (though in their words they feel stuck, they can’t focus, and they are overwhelmed and exhausted all the time).

What was once a super power was now a flaw, and they were discovering, perhaps for the first time, that they don’t actually KNOW what their needs are because they are too busy handling things for everyone else.

Being self-sufficient is not a success criteria when done at the expense of your own needs. It’s time to start breaking free from independence and instead embracing interdependence.