You do not need to be right.

Photo by    Daniel Mingook Kim    on    Unsplash

You don't need to be right.

The vast majority of the westernized population lives in an almost constant state of panic about being wrong.

It's literally guiding almost every single life decision, from where to go to college to where to live to who to date and get married to to how to raise children to what career path to take to whether you brush your teeth in the morning to how frequently you go to the gym to which diet/lifestyle you follow to what clothes to wear.

We spend a MASSIVE amount of very valuable energy keeping this fear at bay by making choices that validate our rightness out of fear of wrongness. And our gauge for whether we're doing it right is what we experience of the outside world (which, I hate to break it to you, is just a projection of your inside world).

And I'll tell you, by about your mid-30s, this whole reality you create for yourself tends to start to crumble (if you've read this far, chances are likely your life has already crumbled, or it's crumbling right now and you can feel it creeping up on you). This has nothing to do with age so much as accumulation of stress related to choices made solely out of fear.

So if you're sitting at a cush job you despise exhausted because you don't sleep well and broke because you spend most of your money on things that ultimately don't fulfill you and you're wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life and why you're actually here, listen up.

The core of your issue lies in your need to be right.

Hang on a second. Let's slow this puppy down and let that land all the way.

The core of your issue lies in your need to be right.

It's the reason why you struggle to create nourishing friendships and aren't deeply fulfilled in partnership. It's the reason why you are dissatisfied with the work you're doing. It's the reason why you're not making money. It's the reason why you constantly feel trapped. It's the reason why you anxiously attach and why you're avoidant. It's the reason why you're experiencing anxiety. It's the reason why you're depressed. It's the reason why you struggle to communicate effectively. It's the reason why you feel ashamed of your body. It's the reason why you're judgmental. It's the reason why you criticize. It's the reason why no one wants to have a deeper conversation with you. It's the reason why you feel so resentful.

You don't need to be right. Letting go of being right doesn't make you wrong. You are not wrong. No one else can make you wrong. You are safe, and can exist outside of right and wrong. Life there is really really wonderful. I love you.


This is a place where many people struggle. The tendrils of fear of being wrong can show up in a myriad of ways, and our ability to see that is challenging at best and impossible at worst. This is an area where ALL people require support. If you’d like to chat about what working with me on this and so much more might look like, reach out.