Dear men: being real is more important than being strong.
Photo by Seth Doyle on Unsplash
If I had a nickel for each time I’ve heard a man tell me in confidence that there was never room for his feelings and that he ought to grow thicker skin...
Listen.
I know women have been repressed for centuries. I’ve lived that, and so has my mom, my grandmothers, my great grandmothers, etc.
But if you think men have somehow not suffered by this paradigm you’re fooling yourself.
I’m beginning to believe they have actually suffered tenfold.
My primary work with men is extraordinarily healing. In a span of the past three months I’ve watched five different male clients of mine breakthrough some heavy, deep, earth-shattering material.
And they are on the path to truly getting free.
Want to know my secret?
I never tell them to man up. I always tell them to be real.
Even if being real means crying for an hour.
Even if being real means shutting down in confusion and frustration.
Even if being real means trying to control things and being judgmental.
Even if being real means owning, for the very first time, being brilliant instead of feeling like a problem that needs to be fixed.
Because if I know one thing, I know that compassion and humility are the number one and two things that actually heal.
Shame keeps things buried and festering.