Are you stressed out?

Photo by    Pim Chu    on    Unsplash

Photo by Pim Chu on Unsplash

Did you know that the MAJORITY of the population is currently running in what is called "sympathetic dominance" which means that their sympathetic nervous system (fight/flight/freeze) is running on overdrive while the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and repair) has no energy left to do its job?

Woah.

If you wonder whether you might be a part of that majority, you probably are. If you feel certain that you aren't, you probably are, too.

The reason I do a reactivity blueprint with my clients as one of the first stages of our work together is because knowing what your various types of reactive behavior look like is one of the best ways to start to shift the sympathetic dominant states in your body so that the energy consumed there can be repurposed to more useful (and resilience/growth-building) functions. Most people stay this way (stressed) because they a) are unaware that it's happening and b) don't know another way of being is actually possible.

Especially those of us who are really intelligent, get super sophisticated about staying in a sympathetic dominant state. We take on reactive behavior that society celebrates and so then we get validation for being that way even though it is *literally* destroying us on the inside because our autonomic nervous system is in extreme levels of dissonance.

I find the easiest way to "hack" this is to get aware as soon as possible what your unique default button is, and then get clear on what to do instead.

So I'm gonna give you a freebie. Below is a list of common reactive behavior of western educated humans who might never consider themselves reactive or stressed, but that are overt indications of both and of sympathetic dominance.

Having these experiences from time to time is okay -- it happens to all of us that we get activated and feel threatened occasionally -- but if you need to exert significant levels of control in order to not feel any of these things, or you are otherwise feeling any of these things often, it might be time to do some deeper inner work to get some tools to function more energetically efficient:

Irritation

Aggression

Righteousness

Invalidating

Feeling attacked

Jealousy

Competitiveness

Blame

Defensive

Superiority

Avoidance

Busy

Overwhelm

Anxious

Neglect

Feeling trapped

Restless

Denial

Intellectualization

Rationalization

Feeling stuck

Judgment

Justification

Apologetic

Validating

Abstraction

Control

Manipulation

Some of these are ways we "fight", others are ways we "flee" and others yet are powerful forms of self-preservation when we don't feel empowered to fight back or escape.

Do you recognize yourself in any of these? What's it like to know they are reactive behaviors? Do you feel like you have the tools to transmute these energies into something else (without avoidance or distraction or rationalization)?


If you'd like to learn more about your own reactivity style and also gain some tools to learn how to do things differently, I'd love to help. I offer complimentary discovery calls where we will talk through your goals and the setbacks you've been experiencing, whether it's one of the forms of reactivity above, or something else entirely. We'll spend our time together helping you get clear about what your path forward looks like and whether I have the tools to help you really get there.

Nothing brings me more joy that witnessing my clients break free from ways of being that are keeping them shackled so that they can finally start living the lives they came here to live. Are you my next client? Apply for your complimentary discovery call and let's find out.